Pisces

Receive FREE side-splitting short stories, by accepting a FREE subscription to become an exclusive Naked Truth member. (You will be the first to know when the new epic novel from M. A. Hills, "The Creator"will be released. You will be the first to have his secrets in your hands!)

Simply enter your information below to subscribe.

True Fate

Pisces (21. 2.-20. 3.)

Career: Pisces, good news: you will be struck by a bolt of lightning! The bad news: you will survive it. Why? Because you will look no more ridiculous than Saint Nicolas himself. Wild snow white hair, a mad prophetic gaze, your cloths torn and baggy like arabian robes, you will descend the steps of your apartment building carrying 2 stone tablets. You will stop at the bottom of the steps, take a deep breath, and proclaim magnanimously:

“Mortals, I am Moses!”

People will soon begin to gather around the steps. You will then shout:

“Here, in my hands, I bare to the world the 10 commandments!”

Suddenly a voice will come out of the crowd retorting,

“but master, we already have 10 commandments?”

To which you will reply,

“Yes! but here are 10 new commandments, making a total of 20!”

Naturally at that moment the crowd will begin to get nervous. Finally a panic stricken voice will be heard above the frantic din, shouting: “20?? Did you say 20???? 20 new commandments????”

“No, mortals, I said 10, 10 new commandments!!!”

A sigh of relief will sweep through the crowd.

“Here, in my hands, are 10 new commandments: great laws that will save the world!”

All at once an alcoholic will appear from behind a trash bin shouting, “how the hell are we gonna obey 20 when we can’t even obey 10???”

“Quite simple, mortals! The first of the new commandments says: “Thou shall forget all the commandments that came before!”

At that point, another wave of relief will sweep through the crowd.

Love: Because the new commandments allow all manner of corruption, debauchery, and greed people will find them easy to obey; therefore you will be loved and followed by millions. You will call your new flock: “my happy little lambs.” And they will pay you 10% percent of their income. Money: Because the odds of being struck by lightening, twice, in the same spot is like winning a lottery, you will invest a great deal of your lambs money in the Saturday night jackpot. Health: Good news, Pisces, the odds are on your side . . . The bad news, you will be struck by lightning, twice, in the same spot (unfortunately the odds did not decide on the jackpot); yet do not dismay, the second strike will bring you back to your old self . . . The bad news: because your old self was an out spoken individualist and hardcore atheist you will find it difficult, if not utterly terrifying, to be followed around the entire day by mumbling fanatical idiots who call you master . . . Pisces, there is nothing I can suggest to change the odds.

HOME HORROR SCOPES