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Bias Onus Quarterly

True Evil

Smelly


Sam Berle, 1808 - 1860, was probably the most bizarre burglar of his century. Not only did Sam break into wealthy London estates to pilfer priceless jewels, he likewise would spend time in the residence cleansing the family jewels he was born with.

Yes, there was not a home he had illegally entered where he had not first taken a bath, and not just a regular bath either. Oh no, he would select those homes that best suited his taste for lavish toiletry: stocked with perfumes, oils, soaps, and expensive silk linens. In fact toward the end of his career he would burgle the home only to take a dip in the tube. It was his obsession. And the more he bathed the greater his taste for lavish comfort and decadence grew.

One day he even tried to break into Buckingham palace. For what greater a bath could one find anywhere then here in the palace itself. Fortunately he was recognised and arrested the moment he hopped the gates. The captain of the guard smelled him first. Not that Sam was stinky, on the contrary, no cleaner a sweet smelling crook could be smelled in all of Britain.


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